I Need To Understand

Mon, 15 Nov 2010 00:26:39 -0500

I need to understand but sometimes I just don’t…a meaning to church. I had a moment in church recently and was perplexed as to why I felt the way I did. Often I find church to be pomp and circumstance. I know what’s coming next and still I go. I look around sometime, hoping to get what he’s got or what she’s getting from music that’s being played to loud and the meaning of the words get lost so it sounds like mumbled droning underneath a drummer that can’t hear so he beats the drum like a bug against glass. The director ad libs on a constant basis and pounds the keys as if to hear over the brutal beating of the drum set behind him. I need to understand why. I believe in God. I know that Jesus is my Savior. I need to understand why. You see church to me is a place I’ve always gone to keep people quiet. I’m older now and feel like I should be able to go when and if I want without guilt. I need to understand why. I digress, so as the mind numbing music continues I brace for the musical breakdown that proceeds the spirit killing that’s is the offertory prayer. That time when we are told that God so loves a cheerful giver and that he requires 10% of our talents. That’s such a small amount when you look at it but talent is money in every church I’ve ever attended. I need to understand. The Lord says to pay your taxes but like the government, church wants you to pay them like the government. Pre-tax payments to a tax free organization. I need to understand. Anyway, after another mind numbing 10 minutes of musical dribble we get ready for our pastor. This is where I gets…well, the most interesting and it gets to the point where…I Need To Understand… Thank you for the read. I’m not finished but I’m tired. I’ll finish tomorrow. Thanks, Graham

Just looking, thank you...

Wed, 10 Nov 2010 19:36:23 -0500

So I’m going through these free iPod apps and stumble across “Tumblr”. I’ve got all these apps to jot down notes, memos and what nots and figured what the hell. In a childish game of ” I got more shit on mine than you do” app game @ work I would show this one off like it was some exclusive game closer. Well, after sitting here for a month not giving a damn about ever posting anything I see where my dude TJ was asking if anyone used it. I’m thinking nahhh. That’s a “show app”. Then his first post dropped and I thought how simple. I’ll write something too. I get so scatter brained when I write. Four journals of half composed thoughts and wit later…here I am. Will I stay on this new wave of self sharing? Who knows. What I do know is that for today it’s nice to stop by and share what I’m thinking and not be limited to 140 characters. This will be a good thing. Some of the things I say and feel get lost in the spacing on a heavy Twitter evening. So I’ll say again, “Will I be staying?” For right now I’d say, “Just looking, thank you…

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I Need To Understand

Just looking, thank you...